Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
the library of the university during the exame session is open until midnight and they serve some tea, coffee and cookies for the late night ones still studying. I didnt know this and I was pleased to find this out and it made me happy .) moving out of our appartment in Tartu is coming closer, so much to do and I am sick, but Tartu is beautiful, full of lilacs blossoming and green all over and it kind of makes me sad to go away, well - summer is almost here.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
long weekend, weird weekend, good weekend, neverending weekend, getting sick weekend, getting worried weekend, happy weekend, lots of thoughts weekend, non eating weekend, dont give a damn weekend, sittinglaying on the grass weekend, working weekend, non drinking weekend, autostopping weekend, brainstorming weekend, cantwaittoseemyphotos weekend, organising weekend, thinking weekend, summerwaiting weekend, allgood weekend,
tiredashell weekend, missingfriends weekend, meetingsome weekend, sessionstarts weekend.
tiredashell weekend, missingfriends weekend, meetingsome weekend, sessionstarts weekend.
zuccini filled with parmesan and a hint of tyhme. creamy pasta with cashew nuts and sweet pear sauce. crazy salad with yellow plums, cherry tomatoes, balsamico dressing and some goat cheese. coffee. cheesecake with berrysauce and some ice-cream. martini bianco. or even if not these, then a simple cheeseomlet would do! gosh, this fasting. give a 100 % respect to O.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
the weekend was great, spent few days in a spa discussing over stuff like what is European Union and whatfor and met some new cool people too, lost my Cervantes on the way in the bus, which i really feel sorry for... but then again the sauna on the 9th floor with a cold jacuzzi was worth it, or was it? eheh... back in tartu, i took my zent-e to the camera shop and developped the film, results will be hanged up in a week, i am also exited to see the photos as these will be freaky experimental ones as i took half of the photos with red and green colored lens-covers. well, cant wait. and i saw randomly, a cool movie what is called "ON THE EDGE" by John Carney. It is a beautiful and sad, funny movie where the main character wants to kill himself and drives over a cliff but does not die and ends up in a small suicide rehab, what happens next is yours to find out as i really liked the movie and suggest this one to watch. Not to mention the gorgeous Cillian Murphy in the main role playing Jonathan.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
takashi miike
Miike was born in Yao, Osaka, Japan. Although he claimed to have attended classes only rarely, he graduated from Yokohama Vocational School of Broadcast and Film (Yokohama Hoso Eiga Senmon Gakko) under the guidance of renowned filmmaker Shohei Imamura. Miike has garnered international notoriety for depicting shocking scenes of extreme violence and bizarre sexual perversions. Many of his films contain graphic and lurid bloodshed, often portrayed in an over-the-top, cartoonish manner. Much of his work depicts the activities of criminals (especially yakuza) or concern themselves with non-Japanese living in Japan. He is known for his black sense of humor and for pushing the boundaries of censorship as far as they will go. It should be noted that, despite his somewhat notorious reputation, Miike has also proven himself to be capable of directing lighthearted children's films (Zebraman, The Great Yokai War), touching period pieces (Sabu), and subdued, moving pictures such as the road movie The Bird People in China.
I watched this movie without any expectations as I had not seen anything else from his works altough knowing some names and loving Asian cinema. From reading what Ive read so far about his work, this is definately one of the "other type of movies". He is an extraordinary filmmaker and such are his works. The Bird People in China reflects magical realism pulling a very fair line between illusion and the truth. The whole movie is a journey of two Japanese guys: a "salary-man" and a Yakuza debt-collector who are looking for a jade mine in China, the search leads them to a small village in the middle of nowhere, with beautiful scenery and fading traditions of the bird people. At one point of the story the two men have to choose whether they want to stay or go and what will it bring to the village if the world will find this last jewel, that brings many desagreements and the story ultimately becomes a voyage of ideological discovery of modern man. Last but not least Miike has made this into a scenically stunning movie, where his comic vision towards to the only true adventure is the hunt for meaning.
A fairytale-like movie, where for my surprise, the best shot was about killing, which can also try to caracterize a little his work. And just because I like these kind of facts: Miike is almost never publicly seen without wearing sunglasses.
I watched this movie without any expectations as I had not seen anything else from his works altough knowing some names and loving Asian cinema. From reading what Ive read so far about his work, this is definately one of the "other type of movies". He is an extraordinary filmmaker and such are his works. The Bird People in China reflects magical realism pulling a very fair line between illusion and the truth. The whole movie is a journey of two Japanese guys: a "salary-man" and a Yakuza debt-collector who are looking for a jade mine in China, the search leads them to a small village in the middle of nowhere, with beautiful scenery and fading traditions of the bird people. At one point of the story the two men have to choose whether they want to stay or go and what will it bring to the village if the world will find this last jewel, that brings many desagreements and the story ultimately becomes a voyage of ideological discovery of modern man. Last but not least Miike has made this into a scenically stunning movie, where his comic vision towards to the only true adventure is the hunt for meaning.
A fairytale-like movie, where for my surprise, the best shot was about killing, which can also try to caracterize a little his work. And just because I like these kind of facts: Miike is almost never publicly seen without wearing sunglasses.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
can anyone tell me some answers that I never will be able to answer? sometimes I wish there could be this one thing, maybe a black monolith, or a person, maybe a longwhitebearded man, whatever, that would say: yes, I know and I want to share my wisdom with you, although you need to walk your own way, which I cannot do for you, I can show the right direction towards to go. I cant live my life thinking only on today and at the same time trying to fix things for the future makes the present turn into a mess. its like all the deeds we do are dots in the sky and all of them are connected with different kind of relationships. human relationships are the most interesting of them all and I soppose one of he hardest things to understand. I started to search for some explinations and I found this:
The relationships we have with other people are projections of the relationships we have within ourselves. Our external relationships and our internal relationships are in fact the same relationships. They only seem different because we look at them through different lenses.
Let’s consider why this is true. Where do all your relationships exist? They exist in your thoughts. Your relationship with another person is whatever you imagine it to be. Whether you love someone or hate someone, you’re right. Now the other person may have a completely different relationship to you, but understand that your representation of what someone else thinks of you is also part of your thoughts. So your relationship with someone includes what you think of that person and what you believe s/he thinks of you. You can complicate it further by imagining what the other person thinks you think of him/her, but ultimately those internal representations are all you have.
Even if your relationships exist in some objective reality independent of your thoughts, you never have access to the objective viewpoint. You’re always viewing your relationships through the lens of your own consciousness. The closest you can get to being objective is to imagine being objective, but that is in no way the same thing as true objectivity. That’s because the act of observation requires a conscious observer, which is subjective by its very nature.
At first it might seem troublesome that you can never hope to gain a truly accurate, 100% objective understanding of your relationships. You can never escape the subjective lens of your own consciousness. That would be like trying to find the color blue with a red lens permanently taped over your eyes. That doesn’t stop people from trying, but such attempts are in vain. If you fall into the trap of trying to think of your relationships as objective entities that are external to you, you’ll be using an inescapably inaccurate model of reality. Consequently, the likely outcome is that you’ll frustrate yourself to no end when it comes to human relationships. You’ll make relating to other people a lot harder than it needs to be. Intuitively you may know something is off in your approach to relationships, but you’ll remain stuck until you realize that every relationship you have with another person is really a relationship that exists entirely within yourself.
Fortunately, once you embrace the subjective nature of relationships, you’ll have a much easier time relating to people. It’s easier to get where you want to go when you have an accurate map. The subjective view of relationships implies that you can change or improve your relationships with others by working on the internal relationships within yourself. Furthermore, you can improve your internal relationships, such as your self-esteem, by working on your relationships with others. Ultimately it’s all the same thing.
According to the subjective model, when you forgive, accept, and love all parts of yourself, you will forgive, accept, and love all other human beings as they are. The more you improve your internal relationships between your thoughts, beliefs, and intentions, the more loving and harmonious your human relationships will become. Hold unconditional love in your consciousness, and you’ll see it reflected in your reality.
By Steve Pavlina
The relationships we have with other people are projections of the relationships we have within ourselves. Our external relationships and our internal relationships are in fact the same relationships. They only seem different because we look at them through different lenses.
Let’s consider why this is true. Where do all your relationships exist? They exist in your thoughts. Your relationship with another person is whatever you imagine it to be. Whether you love someone or hate someone, you’re right. Now the other person may have a completely different relationship to you, but understand that your representation of what someone else thinks of you is also part of your thoughts. So your relationship with someone includes what you think of that person and what you believe s/he thinks of you. You can complicate it further by imagining what the other person thinks you think of him/her, but ultimately those internal representations are all you have.
Even if your relationships exist in some objective reality independent of your thoughts, you never have access to the objective viewpoint. You’re always viewing your relationships through the lens of your own consciousness. The closest you can get to being objective is to imagine being objective, but that is in no way the same thing as true objectivity. That’s because the act of observation requires a conscious observer, which is subjective by its very nature.
At first it might seem troublesome that you can never hope to gain a truly accurate, 100% objective understanding of your relationships. You can never escape the subjective lens of your own consciousness. That would be like trying to find the color blue with a red lens permanently taped over your eyes. That doesn’t stop people from trying, but such attempts are in vain. If you fall into the trap of trying to think of your relationships as objective entities that are external to you, you’ll be using an inescapably inaccurate model of reality. Consequently, the likely outcome is that you’ll frustrate yourself to no end when it comes to human relationships. You’ll make relating to other people a lot harder than it needs to be. Intuitively you may know something is off in your approach to relationships, but you’ll remain stuck until you realize that every relationship you have with another person is really a relationship that exists entirely within yourself.
Fortunately, once you embrace the subjective nature of relationships, you’ll have a much easier time relating to people. It’s easier to get where you want to go when you have an accurate map. The subjective view of relationships implies that you can change or improve your relationships with others by working on the internal relationships within yourself. Furthermore, you can improve your internal relationships, such as your self-esteem, by working on your relationships with others. Ultimately it’s all the same thing.
According to the subjective model, when you forgive, accept, and love all parts of yourself, you will forgive, accept, and love all other human beings as they are. The more you improve your internal relationships between your thoughts, beliefs, and intentions, the more loving and harmonious your human relationships will become. Hold unconditional love in your consciousness, and you’ll see it reflected in your reality.
By Steve Pavlina
Monday, May 11, 2009
Zhu Qizhan
I found this very cool site about this Chinese painter Zhu Quizhan who had an exhibition for the tenth anniversary of his death. Despite his quiet and kind manner, Zhu created a great revolution in modern Chinese painting. His fertile and ineffable imagination bridged East and West, past and present, and connoisseur and creator. Throughout his life, he stimulated interest in art among artists and encouraged continual challenge and development in the artistic tradition in order to ensure the continuing vitality of Chinese painting for the future.
You can read the article about his art and life and postlife and stuff from this link:
http://www.china2000fineart.com/onexhibit/22/onexhibit/text.html
Sunday, May 10, 2009
bwaaaaaah. emotions and no emotions. weekend over and another early wakening waiting. friday was cool and the party went well (regards to uve at this point!) time is fucking flying and i have been doing basically nothing which in one point makes me frustrated and in the other as knowing the cost which is worth it, i just pull myself together. today i passed my time in the city until late in the evening, went with r and r from Estonia to Juuksur where r spilled a cup of boiling tea on my leg so i had to jump around like a mad mia, touchè - but it damn hurts. but the company was great so the evening continued in the old town where we found heaps of food we ate and shared with eachother and also offered to the people who passed and who were nicely surprised and we all had a laugh in the middle of the Saiakang. later on r shared the sweet and salty buns to all the homeless people we met and by the time we got home we all felt good. i still do
Saturday, May 9, 2009
some political stuff in my kind of image
some more in this blog: http://xark.typepad.com/photos/xarkaganda/index.html
Friday, May 8, 2009
postcards from italy
The times we had
Oh, when the wind would blow with rain and snow
Were not all bad
We put our feet just where they had, had to go
Never to go
The shattered soul
Following close but nearly twice as slow
In my good times
There were always golden rocks to throw
at those who admit defeat too late
Those were our times, those were our times
And I will love to see that day
That day is mine
When she will marry me outside with the willow trees
And play the songs we made
They made me so
And I would love to see that day
Her day was mine
Oh, when the wind would blow with rain and snow
Were not all bad
We put our feet just where they had, had to go
Never to go
The shattered soul
Following close but nearly twice as slow
In my good times
There were always golden rocks to throw
at those who admit defeat too late
Those were our times, those were our times
And I will love to see that day
That day is mine
When she will marry me outside with the willow trees
And play the songs we made
They made me so
And I would love to see that day
Her day was mine
Thursday, May 7, 2009
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGquNrnTCWc&feature=related
hold your head up high
its much easier to smile
...
there is a song deep in your soul
that is going to get you on the right track
and help you reach your goal...
trouble times
...
you just hum this little song
and things wont go wrong....
uuh, doodle oh doo...
its much easier to smile
...
there is a song deep in your soul
that is going to get you on the right track
and help you reach your goal...
trouble times
...
you just hum this little song
and things wont go wrong....
uuh, doodle oh doo...
the blossoms here are coming out, its warm outside and i have a coffe overdose. jorma is coming over and we come together back to the city today, back to basics. im putting the playlist together for tomorrow as playing some music at one party and I`ll hang the playlist up soon to share too. went to listen umbero eco yesterday, was a great lecture. he has been selected as one of the most intelligent persons alive for a reason. and two days ago! iv made me so fucking happy just because he is like he is, an incredible person. got to let the good in people, if you yourself dont want to, it will not come. if you think it is hard to be happy, it is. you stop yourself from your own mind or heart. if you say to yourself i dont know how to love, i dont know what it feels like to be in love, you never will be, because you wont let yourself. if you say you are unhappy you will be. everything from the a to the end its in our heads.
Monday, May 4, 2009
to the girl i`m thinking about
hate love and lust
the words never written
the roads linger in dust
my heart under the iron sea
long live the shadows in meadows
its the morning coffee, late night tea
its a soul seeking another
lost emotions walking home
never had the chance, now lone
why it feels like swearing
when everything is allright
like goodness of it bearing
life is like a box of chocolate
you never know what you get
i lost you before we even really met
sleep tight love
forget the hate and live for lust
the words linger in dust
the words never written
the roads linger in dust
my heart under the iron sea
long live the shadows in meadows
its the morning coffee, late night tea
its a soul seeking another
lost emotions walking home
never had the chance, now lone
why it feels like swearing
when everything is allright
like goodness of it bearing
life is like a box of chocolate
you never know what you get
i lost you before we even really met
sleep tight love
forget the hate and live for lust
the words linger in dust
Sunday, May 3, 2009
the sweetest weekend where you feel like drowning in syrup but instead of trying to paddle and breathe you swallow with a smile and let yourself go. the summer is close.
thinking of helen, ironing alans shirts, listening the good mood music and just feelin great. and funny how sad at the same time, like life is. like the sound you hear, lingers in your ear, cant forget from sundown to the set, its everywhere, its going to grab a hold on you, california soul - the song of this summer.
so today these two!
totally this one:
c) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UW1QGrRmRQ4
and this for you, if you happen to read my blog for some reason:
d) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLI0w1nqGiQ&NR=1
c) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOBYp-BGWGg
thinking of helen, ironing alans shirts, listening the good mood music and just feelin great. and funny how sad at the same time, like life is. like the sound you hear, lingers in your ear, cant forget from sundown to the set, its everywhere, its going to grab a hold on you, california soul - the song of this summer.
so today these two!
totally this one:
c) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UW1QGrRmRQ4
and this for you, if you happen to read my blog for some reason:
d) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLI0w1nqGiQ&NR=1
c) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOBYp-BGWGg
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